|
Oliver D. Bernuetz's Stories Back to my home page - back to stories Eurmal Takes the Cake Tolmund the Teller sneaks
a peek at the crowd.
They are well into their cups and the
mood is morose with the bad news from the front.
He will need a good one tonight to draw
their attention and cheer them up he thinks.
He ponders and then it comes to him.
He smiles to himself and then spinning
his pellet drum almost maniacally he steps up on the stage.
The crowd turns disinterestedly towards
him and he asks them a question without waiting for a response. “Do you like cake?
Ernalda makes the best you know.
Such cakes she bakes!
The smell is almost better than the
taste.
They melt in your mouth and leave you
longing for more.
People eat one and think of leaving their
loved ones for another.
When she bakes, and she does not bake
often enough she leaves them on the window sill to cool.
The smell draws a crowd of varmints and
ne’er do wells who float in as though their feet don’t touch the ground.
The worst of the worst of course is
Eurmal.
That sneak, that crook, that pest!
He always thinks everything should be his
and he will spend far more time thinking of how to get his mitts on
something for free than he would ever spend doing it himself. Tolmund stops and
shudders, “I had a taste of a cake Eurmal baked once mind you.”
He shudders again.
“The taste haunts me still.
And…the texture. Personally speaking
cakes have no more allure for me”.
A shudder starts in his toes and ripples
through his whole body.
He shakes himself and continues. “But
Ernalda’s cakes.
Her cakes are the best.
And that’s why Eurmal spent so much
effort and time to steal them.
She
tried everything to stop him from stealing them.
Once she tried putting horrible
ingredients in a batch thinking this would discourage him.
It did not.
She dug a pit outside the window and
filled it with poisonous serpents.
What did that rascal, that imp, that gnat
do?
Why he filled that pit with snake oil and slid
right over them and snatched his booty! Ernalda wrapped the hall
with a giant snake to keep Eurmal away.
What did Eurmal do, that boor, that bum,
that nincompoop!
He stole a little bit of Winter from
Valind and made that snake fall asleep for the season!
Walked right in on some shoes he’d made
of rawhide and bent sticks and stole those cakes!
She even stood guard herself with her
rolling pin, Mighty Thunder and catching Eurmal beat him into the shape of
a loaf of bread.
As satisfying as that was she
had
too much to do to watch the cakes herself. Ernalda was frustrated
and tired of all this so she asked Orlanth for help.
He was warring with someone, as usual, so
he couldn’t spare anyone to watch for her.
He was lounging on his seat while Ernalda
stood angrily before him flour up to her armpits.
“Do you want cakes for your warriors or
not?
I do not have time to watch the cakes and
bake them.”
Orlanth frowned, he did like those cakes.
His gaze idly wandered the hall avoiding
Ernalda’s angry visage and lighted on Yinkin sleeping before the hearth.
That gave him an idea.
He took a stale roll from the table and
hurled it at Yinkin.
Yinkin rolled out of the way just in time
and stretching lazily asked, “What?”
Orlanth said, “Can I borrow one of your
children?”
Yinkin sat up straight and warily eyed
Orlanth.
“Which one?”
“That one you keep in the pit deep in the
forest.”
“Oh, you know about him do you.
I’m not sure he’s well suited for, well
anything.
He’s got a bit of an anger problem.”
Orlanth nodded, “That’s why he’s perfect.
Let’s go fetch him.”
Yinkin grimaced and started to protest.
Ignoring this Orlanth grabbed him by the
scruff.
Kissing Ernalda on the cheek he breezily
said, “Won’t be a mo.” Two weeks later Orlanth
and Yinkin returned.
Both were the worse for wear and Orlanth
carried a large sack wrapped in iron chains slung on his back.
The sack was almost shredded and huge
paws with claws like kukris poked through and tried to rip Orlanth apart.
“Who, or better yet, what did say this
thing’s mother was?”
Orlanth asked again.
Yinkin looked sheepish and gave the same
reply he’d been giving for days.
“I honestly can’t remember.
All I know is that he’s definitely one of
mine.” Summoning Gustbran and a
host of warriors they managed to get a stout collar around the kitten’s
neck and attached an iron chain as a leash to that long enough
so it could reach anyone trying to steal cakes.
Standing safely outside the leash’s reach
they kept an eye on the terror that now guarded Ernalda’s window.
Orlanth nodded in a satisfied manner.
“That should do.”
Smacking his hands together to knock the
dust off he shook his head in a bemused manner.
“I must say that I have never heard such
a perfect name for such a creature.
Wrath indeed.” Ernalda of course made
friends with Wrath right away and started baking again.
Once more the tantalizing scent drifted
on the wind straight to Eurmal who had been missing them dreadfully.
He gleefully rubbed his hands together
and slunk his way to the windowsill.
He was just straightening up to
delicately liberate a cake or twelve when he heard a rumbling growl that
sounded like a True Dragon had swallowed a Mostali army and was trying to
clear its throat.
He turned his head in time to avoid
losing it, shrieked in terror and fled without losing too much skin.
Inside the hall rolling out more dough
Ernalda smirked thinking no more stolen cakes for you! That should have been the
end of that but Eurmal , that scoundrel, that blackguard, that poltroon,
he loves a challenge more than anything.
He brooded on his brooding rock.
Hmmph, Wrath indeed.
I don’t want Wrath, I want sloth or
something mild.
Hmm.
Thinking all of Yinkin’s kittens looked
more or less the same he went searching.
As he went he gathered all those plants
that cats loved, especially the ones that make them sleepy.
He searched high and low and wasn’t
scratched too badly.
Finally he found Sloth who to his eye
looked identical to Wrath. Orlanth was well pleased
with Wrath and the fact that the cake stealing had stopped.
Ernalda wasn’t so pleased and worried a
little about what Eurmal was up to.
Yinkin who had never cared still didn’t
though he was obscurely glad Wrath had found such an important job. Eurmal returned to the
stead one day straining from the weight of the two mighty sacks on his
shoulders.
He snuck back in making sure no one saw
him.
Taking a big ball of plant matter from
one sack he carefully rolled it towards Wrath.
Wrath had been sleeping but when he
smelled that heavenly scent he leapt upon the ball and tore it to pieces.
Eurmal turned pale at the sight and was
just glad it wasn’t him.
Finally the catnip did its magic and
Wrath flopped down on the ground.
Pulling a nine foot pole from his pocket
he slowly and carefully poked Wrath.
No reaction. He poked again a little
harder.
Nothing.
Finally he poked him hard enough to roll
him over.
Still nothing.
Chortling he took the collar off of Wrath
and fetching the other bag pulled an identical cat from it.
He put the collar on Sloth and stuffed
Wrath and all the bits of shredded plant matter into the bag.
Hoisting the bag onto his shoulder and
snitching a single cake, no make that two cakes, well, no one would miss
three cakes would they, he strolled off into the forest whistling. The reputation of Wrath served Sloth well who was so lazy he didn’t even care if he was called by the wrong name. Orlanth was still smug about his solution and Yinkin still didn’t care but Ernalda suspected something was different as she scratched behind Sloth’s ears. She sighed and thought at least Eurmal wasn’t taking ALL the cakes. That was an improvement, wasn’t it? Last updated May 15, 2021 Glorantha is a trademark of Chaosium, Inc. Gloranthan material on this page is copyright ©2021 by Oliver D. Bernuetz or by the author specifically mentioned on an individual page. Glorantha is the creation of Greg Stafford, and is used with his permission. Email me at bernuetz@mymts.net
|
